Friday, April 20, 2007

A quick-rich plan for your college

Here is an idea that I thought of today. Is your college in the negative numbers? Does your institution suffer from increased tuition rates? Here is your solution: Obtain sponsors for your lecture! A 30 second commercial break during each lecture would be announced, and the professor would provide the appropriate advertisement.


English: Cannot wait to hear the end of the Macbeth cliffhanger? Get to class on time in your brand new Prius Toyota! If you are running especially late bring along the three witches for an environmentally friendly ride in the carpool lane!
Math: Today's partial derivatives are brought to you by Papa John's - if your functions are dysfunctional bite into a juicy veggie d-light/dx!
US History: Are you a victim of Taxation without Representation? Declare your independence with H&R Block!
Chemistry: Are your pH values not adjusting? Choose Tums for fast relief of tricky pH problems. Now available in Phenolphthalein flavor.
Music: This lecture was brought to you by iPod - if the Stravinsky excerpt does not provide you with full satisfaction, find it on iTunes and play it at 140 decibel for all your roommates.
Philosophy: Has Nietzsche's Übermensch given you an Überhunger? Wendy's stacked high $6 burger even satisfies Freud. As Descartes will you tell you: "I eat therefore I am"
Biology: Having trouble locating the nephridium in your cephalopod? Lenscrafters! For a better vision of small and insignificant organs.
Latin: When the time comes for your Ides of March - carpe diem with Tampax Ultra!

Any other sponsors you could think of?

1 comment:

Twice said...

Too funny!

I can't think of any clever spoken advertisement, but how about all that wasted table/podium space? I'm thinking of subtle product placement of things like Diet Coke, Starbucks Coffee and energy drinks.

Also, what about all that wasted space in the corners of powerpoint presentations? This is perfect for animated bugs advertising Kaplan MCAT Review classes and the like.